DISCLAIMER: These posts contain hints, tips and ideas from folks that have had some experiences dealing with this. It is NOT meant to be legal advice - just related experiences. Please consult with a reputable professional if necessary. Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 15:35:05 -0700 To: equinerescue@MyList.net From: Pat Calloway Subject: EQ-ResQ: Rejecting Applicants So someone wants to adopt a horse and due to any number of factors, you tell them no. How do you do it? Do you have a form letter, tell them in person, via phone, etc? Do you tell them *why* they are being rejected? If you reject them due to a really bad reason (abuse/neglect in their past, say), do you pass the word along to other rescues? Is there a particular person in your organization (the Diplomatic One ) who does this? And what about that person who just can't take no for an answer - how do you get the message across? Tact? Flowers? A 2x4? Pat Calloway, Equine Rescue Listowner epona@concentric.net (AZ) http://www.crt-stable.com/equinerescue ========== Pat Calloway ====== To: equinerescue@MyList.net From: CamMalu@aol.com Subject: Re: EQ-ResQ: Rejecting Applicants Date: Sun, 12 Sep 1999 03:01:40 EDT I lie so I don't hurt anyone's feelings.... I have a long, long waiting list so it's pretty easy. It will take me a zillion years to get this many animals for all these people and what I do when a new person calls is tell them I have a long waiting list (true). I also try to get them to come by and look at my animals to see how they interact with them. You can tell a lot that way. I have been known to creep by people's homes also to check out their facilities. Even if I have an animal here that I think would make a good match for the person I will ask them to come by, do a very informal interview, walk around and look at the animals (mine and if I have a rescue the rescue also). IF I feel comfortable about them and IF there was a bond going there between them and the animal (that has already been spoken for - NOT) and IF the animal chose them, then I may or may not call them in back in a few days after I do some checking and let them know that the animal they were squealing over may be available due to the other person having something come up and were no longer able to take that animal. I usually don't even call and tell a bunch of people when I get in a new animal. I wait and watch the animal to see what kind of personality they have and then I try to match them with a waiting adopter. Some people may wait a week, some a month, and some a year or some never get one.... I have had animals come in that I knew were a perfect match for someone that wasn't even trying to adopt and have matched them before they even knew they wanted a new pet. So far I have been very successful and the matches really couldn't be more perfect. Someone must be watching out for me as I sure don't have this talent myself. I don't like to lie but if it will keep someone from getting their feelings hurt well then so be it. C Rescue relay page 1 One day I will catch up on this page.... ========== CamMalu@aol.com ====== To: equinerescue@MyList.net From: slyshot@mindspring.com Subject: Re: EQ-ResQ: Rejecting Applicants Date: Mon, 13 Sep 1999 22:45:07 -0400 Most of the time we tell them in person, usually after we have observed them working with the horse and come to the conclusion/decision that this is not a good combination. People are sometimes notified by phone, especially if the rejection is due to inadequate facilities to maintain the animal(s). And we always tell them why, as diplomatically but realistically as possible. Our education director (I think that's her title) is the person in charge of training both horses and humans, does most of the adoption evaluations and oversees the barn checks, so she is usually the one to advise the adopter that they won't be getting the horse, but for most of the 10 years we've been in operation it was up to the org's founder. As an evaluator I have recommended that someone not get a horse they want but thankfully I never had to be the one to tell them. I don't know that we've ever turned someone down because of prior abuse or suspected abuse history. We have been able to weed suspect people out in conversation before they get to the adoption process. And no, we would not pass this "info" along to other rescues because it comes down to innuendo. Only if we knew something concrete would we share info, and probably only if asked privately. >And what about that person who just can't take no for an answer - how do you >get the message across? Tact? Flowers? A 2x4? The 'lumber option' works *BEG*, and beyond that we had to notify the police once when a rejected adopter made threats against us because we "refused to make her child's dream come true at Christmas" by adopting 2 horses out to live on 1 acre fenced with single-strand electric wire. There is another aspect of rejecting adoptions and that is the gossip that is often spread by rejectees. There isn't a lot you can do about this except stick to your adoption guidelines and ignore it (and try to maintain a sense of humor about the outlandish-ness of the rumors). Klondike (Cris May) Days End Farm Horse Rescue (MD) http://www.defhr.org ========== slyshot@mindspring.com ====== To: equinerescue@MyList.net From: Sadlsor Subject: Re: EQ-ResQ: Rejecting Applicants Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1999 09:09:00 -0700 (PDT) ---slyshot@mindspring.com wrote: > > As an > evaluator I have recommended that someone not get a horse they want but > thankfully I never had to be the one to tell them. As an Adoption Counseler/Tech at a small Animal Shelter...sometimes people feel *obigated* to tak ethe animal your showing them. Especially because they picked a p[articular dog out. So we always tell them they are not obliged to take a certain dog and may look at another dog. Plus we *tactfully* mention to them what we feel would happen if the match isn't quite kosher. > We have been able to weed suspect people out in conversation before they get > to the adoption process. BINGO!!!!! We have a *matchmaker* form we ask EVERYONE to fill out. and a couple of the questions are re-worded. That's where we can get someone..also many people (the undesireable ones) talk themselves into a corner becuase they want to impress us so much that they run their mouth TOO MUCH. I had one woman the other day who wanted to adopt a dog from us but couldn't remember how may dogs she had becuase she gave so many of them away for various reasons but yet wanted a *watch dog* One that would bark when someone came in yet if the dog looked wrong at something, or if someone *loved* the dog alot (quoting her) she would give them the dog. We can't stress enough the stress a dog goes thru being bounced from home to home to home to home. She rattled off so much info and got herself into such a hole.... needless to say she wasn't a happy camper when she left with just an empty leash... She told me I was "just a business person" and why wouldn't I want to adopt to her "SHE SUCH A RESPONSIBLE OWNER" I think we have different defintions of responsible. > > >And what about that person who just can't take no for an answer - how do > you > >get the message across? Tact? Flowers? A 2x4? At the Shelter we're trying to devise a chute. Put the chair over the chute and when we get the undesireable people who want to adopt and can't take No for an answer ..We just push a button, the floor opens up and down goes chair and person to the parking lot. Retrieve the chair ..start all over. We all like it. :) We haven't been able to convince the Board though :( >we had to notify the police because we "refused to > make her child's dream come true at Christmas" by adopting 2 horses out to > live on 1 acre fenced with single-strand electric wire. > AH yes *The Guilt Trip Syndrome*.. They try to intimidate you into adopting to them. They haven't quite figured out THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. We've had people come in with kids and when we have to deny an adoption and the kids start crying then they lash out as us. Which most of us have seen it time and again that we can actually let it roll off our shoulders. They think they;'re the first ones to use that tactic. I must clarify though for every adoption we have to deny there are many that understand and we do adopt to. > There is another aspect of rejecting adoptions and that is the gossip that > is often spread by rejectees. Been there, seen that, done that. Because adopting out to RESPONSIBLE people they take responsible actions with their new dog i.e. dog training course proper vet check ups etc..... and THAT speaks volumes. Yes the *right* person could damage us (or any rescue) but that's why we have to work twice as hard to not have that happen. The Rejectees stick to themselves too. ========== Sadlsor ====== To: equinerescue@MyList.net From: MayhemIWS@aol.com Subject: Re: EQ-ResQ: Rejecting Applicants Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1999 16:28:11 EDT I am afraid that my experience with placing rescues is more pet related than horse related and the experiences of the shelter person struck a very familiar cord!! One of the ways folks would often get into a hole with me regarding dogs is when I would ask what sort of heartworm prevention did they use? I heard everything from the dog getting shots for that from the vet (most common) to insisting that it was something that they put in the water...talk about something being in the water!! In general open ended questions that don't allow for a yes, no or multiple choice that is offered will give a lot of info on the prospect. Julie ========== MayhemIWS@aol.com ====== To: equinerescue@MyList.net From: slyshot@mindspring.com Subject: Re: EQ-ResQ: Rejecting Applicants Date: Tue, 14 Sep 1999 22:38:49 -0400 >In general open ended questions that don't allow for a yes, no or multiple >choice that is offered will give a lot of info on the prospect. With horses we can usually tell pretty quickly whether or not someone is a possible adopter by solutions they offer to behavior problems the horse has. The "I'd just tie his nose to his tail" folks don't get far. Nor do the ones who have ridden a lot but never taken a lesson or owned a horse and want to adopt a greenie. But sometimes you just don't know until the last minute. One adopter came up and worked with the horse 3 times and our only questions about the adoption were her lack of confidence in herself and consistency, but she was going to work with her trainer. So we had the trainer come up for the final session. Prior to that the (pretty green) horse had been stalled for 3 weeks with a leg injury and both trainer and adopter were told this. Trainer proceeded to work the horse for a solid hour, at the end of which time the adopter insisted she "had" to ride him a little before he was put away. She did not get the horse. Klondike (Cris May) Days End Farm Horse Rescue (MD) http://www.defhr.org ========== slyshot@mindspring.com ====== DISCLAIMER: These posts contain hints, tips and ideas from folks that have had some experiences dealing with this. It is NOT meant to be legal advice - just related experiences. Please consult with a reputable professional if necessary.